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Thursday, June 7, 2012

Hot Oil Treatments and Other White Girl Problems

Hello Blog-World!
In order to prove to you that I'm not all serious all the time here's a post of White Girl Problems (aka my life). And no, I probably won't be able to draw some spiritual connection between these and my relationship with Jesus.
So just take it as it is, laugh a little (or a lot) and try not to make fun of me the next time you see me.

1. Weddings
I'm going to a wedding tomorrow. I'm really excited for them and about going, but as I was picking out a card to give the happy newlyweds I got into the "I'm-not-dating-and-I'll-never-get-married-ever-ever-EVER" slump that happens about twice a week.
and once we hop down to number four you'll know why this is really a crisis that need some attention. because WHO WANTS TO MARRY ME?!
there, i'm done.
now I'll go eat ice cream sandwiches. #whitegirlproblems

2. Cooking
A friend of my challenged me to cook my way through a certain cookbook in a year. That seems doable, right? Right! I accepted the challenge like...5 days ago. And here's a list of what I've cooked so far: salad.
And not just any salad, but salad from a box from WalMart. Yep. I didn't even buy lettuce. I bought a box of mixed greens (half and half to be exact: spinach and spring mix). Now, to my credit, I did cut up the vegetables all by myself! I was even planning on making my own dressing, but the store-bought raspberry vinaigrette just looked so much better! ...and easier.
So, 360 days left and about a billion recipes left to make. #whitegirlproblems

3. Moving
I recently moved into a precious new house. (yay yay yay!!) It has a huge backyard and a cute little front porch and we have the sweetest old lady neighbor. What people don't tell you about moving is that it sucks. ...or maybe they do tell you that. but i wasn't listening because everything is sunny and happy when it comes to moving out of your hell hole apartment and into your beautiful house.
Few things in this world are made for people who barely reach 5'3" on a good day. None of those things are in my new house. I had to buy a step ladder just to reach the second shelf in the pantry. And forget the top shelf in my closet. That's never going to be used.
A list within a list:
Quirks Of the House on Berry Street:
You can't run the dishwasher and take a pleasant shower.
The fridge makes the strangest sounds that remain unexplained.
It also leaks.
The sink leaks, too. Don't worry, we have a bucket.
No ice machine = ice trays that NEVER release all the ice cubes at once.
The most confusing locks on our doors...is it really locked? it's hard to say.
No microwave.
No lawn mower. Did I mention how big our backyard was?
No washing machine...yet


All of that being said, I wouldn't trade our cute little house for anything in the whole world. (except maybe the Air Force 1's I customized today at work...but that's another #whitegirlproblem entirely. Also a #brokegirlproblem)

4. Hot Oil Treatments
My hair has not been cooperating recently.
It's been pretty hideous unless I do something to it. and I hate doing things to my hair, I'm about as low-maintenance as they come.
I saw this thing on pinterest a while back about a hot oil treatment you could do at home for your hair. so yesterday I decided I would do it! Brilliant!
This little remedy will solve all my problems.
I heat the oil on the stove. add the honey. take it to the bathroom.
dunk my hair in the solution and comb it through my hair.
"comb it through my hair" is not an accurate statement. I comb it until the very tips when the honey dries and gets stuck at the ends of my hair. #whitegirlproblem number one. I continue with the process.
But I can't seem to get the oil on enough of my hair. So i take the pot and dump it on my head. Remember how it just came off the stove? Yeah, me neither. So there I was, bending over my bathtub holding a pot in one hand and a comb in the other, cursing to myself and crying a little bit.
I combed around my scalding scalp and stick all my hair into my cute little shower cap. I had to let it sit for 15-30 minutes.
Fast forward 15-30 minutes.
My hair is a disgusting, grease ball mess. The instructions said to "shampoo as normal" and so I did that.
And then I did it again.
And I still felt really gross up there.
But I got out of the shower and went about my business.
My hair NEVER dried. EVER.
So I took another shower.
And then when I woke up in the morning and my hair was STILL disgusting I took a shower again.
I had to go through work, class, and lab with gross, grease ball hair.
I looked up what to do about this Hot Oil Treatment gone wrong online.
Enter: Target.
I drove to target as fast as I could after class and bought Dawn Dish Detergent.
Yes, you read right. Dish Soap.
So I get home and hop in the shower right away and washed my hair again. and then again for good measure.
My hair has never been so soft or so grease free.

So there you have it, the story of me washing my hair five times in two days. #whitegirlproblems