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Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Throwing My Childhood Out the Window

I'll be the first to admit that I'm a hopeless romantic. Maybe its taken me more than a little while to get to this point of self-recognition but here I am. Kaitlyn Cross- Hopeless Romantic.
I dream of days sitting on front porch rocking chairs watching grandkids playing in the yard, growing gray with the man of my dreams rocking beside me. I day dream about being swept off my feet, being romanced, of finally trading in my purity ring for a diamond. And ever since twelve year old Kaitlyn stuck that "True Love Waits" ring on her left hand ring finger the dreams haven't stopped coming.

My dear friend sent me a blog about quietly slipping off the purity ring and trading it in for something better: something truer. something more worth having. and something that doesn't require waiting. Because with that one piece of sterling silver wrapped around that one finger I have put shackles around my heart.

Jesus, You are a place holder until the right man comes along. I am waiting for that guy so that I can finally give up my heart. And I am so terribly sorry about that.

People are disappointing. I know that first hand. I've experienced that in the rawest form this past week.
So why would I ever want to give my heart so someone innately disappointing when the One man who will never leave me, nor forsake me is asking for my heart and promising with an eternal promise to never, ever break it or take advantage?

Why? Because at twelve years old I believed a lie. I believed that there was something better out there. I was being offered Jesus as a means to an end. And I bought it. I bought every lie that was fed to me about how if I loved Jesus enough and did all the right things that some day my prince charming would come riding in on a white horse and we would ride away together into the sunset.
Well let me tell you, it's been eight and a half years since I put that ring on my finger. I've been waiting for far too long. I am done waiting. So the other day my friend and I decided to follow in that bloggers footsteps. We quietly slipped our purity rings off of our left hand ring fingers and with that I unshackled my heart and I decided to stop waiting for my knight in shining armor and instead decided to stop believing the lie that Jesus was just a means to an end.

Jesus is the means and the end.

White picket fence or not, grandkids playing in the yard or single until my dying day. Life is sweet every day because Jesus is romancing me. and nothing else matters.