if His grace is an ocean, we're all sinking.
i am drowning in His overwhelming grace and love.
times are hard, but God is always good.
my prayer, Father, is that You would overwhelm us with Your comfort, love, peace, and joy. Remind us that there is a greater story being written. One that is greater than any of us can comprehend. Let us bask in the truth that You work all things for the good of those who love You. and let us celebrate a life well lived. Turn for us our mourning into dancing. clothe us with gladness. turn our mourning into joy. You are so, so good to us, Lord.
Friday, August 12, 2011
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Three. [Short and Sweet]
My life has not been easy. but it has always been good.
Mark's life has not been easy, and by a lot of people's standards, it probably hasn't been good either. but Mark has an incredible perspective. One that I can only hope to attain one day. I don't know a lot about Mark. He's in a chair, and he has a smile that lights up the world around him. I had the privilege of meeting Mark at NorthBay in July. and he has changed my life.
The first club of the week I was with some other summer staff girls watching from the back. John was talking about God's love. He was saying that he understood that sometimes it felt like God didn't love us. He said "you might be sitting there thinking 'where was God when this happened? how can you say that God loves me when this has happened?'" in the middle of this, Mark started talking to John. and who ever else was listening. He was practically shouting. "it doesn't matter!" he said. "It doesn't matter what you've been through, or what you think! God loves you. He loves you no matter what. God loves you. And you might not think so, but He does."
we were all stunned to silence. and then the club room erupted into applause.
I was crying. (duh. i always cry.) I had goose bumps. to say that i was amazed would be an understatement. i was overwhelmed.
and that's when it dawned on me that these Capernaum folks see and know God far more clearly and intimately than I. I long for childlike faith. My Capernaum friends have it. and I am filled with a jealousy for it.
Mark knows that God loves him. And He believes it. There are no if's and's or but's. because of his childlike faith, Mark can sit in a room full of people, believers and non-believers and say with confidence that no matter your circumstances, God loves you. and He never stops loving you.
Almost a month later, and here I sit, still amazed by this guy. I have no idea what Mark's been through. and he has no idea what I've been through. but there is one truth that binds us together, one truth that Mark has ingrained on my heart: God never stops loving us.
an update on the Capernaum: Fayetteville front, because that's why i started this blog in the first place.
I move back to Arkansas on Wednesday. that's three days for those of you counting (mom). And that means that in three days this all becomes real.
Not that it wasn't real to begin with, but plans will start becoming actions. and as excited as i am about that, i am scared to death.
that quite confidence i possessed early this spring has faded and been replaced by an almost petrifying fear. but a fear that comforts me. crazy, right?
but having this fear just makes me that much more confident that i'm on the right track. I know that this fear comes from the enemy whispering insecurity and inadequacy in my ear. but here I am, shouting back Christ's power made perfect in my weakness.
In the next few weeks meetings will take place, emails will be sent, and fresh-faced freshman will be introduced to me. I will meet people that will eventually make up this team that is so dear to my heart.
Thinking about that literally makes my stomach churn. But i have confidence. I am confident because God has gone before me and prepared a way.
this time next month, God willing, I will have met high school kids. I will be a part of their classrooms and lives. I will have girls that I can be praying for by face and name. I cannot wait. girls that the Lord has planned for me to meet. planned since the beginning of time. and that knowledge gives me so much joy.
Mark's life has not been easy, and by a lot of people's standards, it probably hasn't been good either. but Mark has an incredible perspective. One that I can only hope to attain one day. I don't know a lot about Mark. He's in a chair, and he has a smile that lights up the world around him. I had the privilege of meeting Mark at NorthBay in July. and he has changed my life.
The first club of the week I was with some other summer staff girls watching from the back. John was talking about God's love. He was saying that he understood that sometimes it felt like God didn't love us. He said "you might be sitting there thinking 'where was God when this happened? how can you say that God loves me when this has happened?'" in the middle of this, Mark started talking to John. and who ever else was listening. He was practically shouting. "it doesn't matter!" he said. "It doesn't matter what you've been through, or what you think! God loves you. He loves you no matter what. God loves you. And you might not think so, but He does."
we were all stunned to silence. and then the club room erupted into applause.
I was crying. (duh. i always cry.) I had goose bumps. to say that i was amazed would be an understatement. i was overwhelmed.
and that's when it dawned on me that these Capernaum folks see and know God far more clearly and intimately than I. I long for childlike faith. My Capernaum friends have it. and I am filled with a jealousy for it.
Mark knows that God loves him. And He believes it. There are no if's and's or but's. because of his childlike faith, Mark can sit in a room full of people, believers and non-believers and say with confidence that no matter your circumstances, God loves you. and He never stops loving you.
Almost a month later, and here I sit, still amazed by this guy. I have no idea what Mark's been through. and he has no idea what I've been through. but there is one truth that binds us together, one truth that Mark has ingrained on my heart: God never stops loving us.
an update on the Capernaum: Fayetteville front, because that's why i started this blog in the first place.
I move back to Arkansas on Wednesday. that's three days for those of you counting (mom). And that means that in three days this all becomes real.
Not that it wasn't real to begin with, but plans will start becoming actions. and as excited as i am about that, i am scared to death.
that quite confidence i possessed early this spring has faded and been replaced by an almost petrifying fear. but a fear that comforts me. crazy, right?
but having this fear just makes me that much more confident that i'm on the right track. I know that this fear comes from the enemy whispering insecurity and inadequacy in my ear. but here I am, shouting back Christ's power made perfect in my weakness.
In the next few weeks meetings will take place, emails will be sent, and fresh-faced freshman will be introduced to me. I will meet people that will eventually make up this team that is so dear to my heart.
Thinking about that literally makes my stomach churn. But i have confidence. I am confident because God has gone before me and prepared a way.
this time next month, God willing, I will have met high school kids. I will be a part of their classrooms and lives. I will have girls that I can be praying for by face and name. I cannot wait. girls that the Lord has planned for me to meet. planned since the beginning of time. and that knowledge gives me so much joy.
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