I'm supposed to be writing a five minute play right now. It's due tomorrow, so what better to do than procrastinate with a blog!
I have nothing wise to say, but do i ever? no. so no surprise there.
let me just tell you, blogworld, that life is hard. and while i may be laughing at my circumstances the fact of the matter is that i'm scared. I don't know what I want to do with my life. Much less what God wants me to do with my life. The two should not be separate entities which is where I think i'm stumbling. Which brings me to a whole new facet of my life.
I want to want what God wants for me. (not a typo) but not knowing what He wants makes it difficult to want that.
We'll use boys as an example, they're always problematic.
I have never had a boyfriend. For a long long time I was really upset with that fact, and I probably still am a little bit. But little by little God has been capturing my heart and my single-ness is not something that i revel in anymore. I know that God's plan is perfect. And so with my new found semi-contenedness in the situation I was ready to say no to boys all around. Enter: boy. I've known him since august and had the smallest of crushes on him since that time. But i knew that nothing would ever come of anything between us, it just wouldn't work out. Well, now things are starting to change with that. And I just don't know how to deal with it. Is what God really wants for me right now to have this guy in my life? If i'm not ready for a boy(friend?), and I don't necessarily believe that I am, why would this guy happen at this time? I simply cannot give up the part of me that longs for earthly affection. It's a downfall of mine, really, that I am not selfless enough to surrender this one desire.
that was the most emo, high school, girly, pointless blog in the world.
i'm sorry you read that.
Happy National Almond Day!
No comments:
Post a Comment